Not too many times do I get so upset where I freak out. I have had a few issues that really took me over the edge and I was really shaken up, but I can count those times on one hand. Normally I try to see the good in things, the lesson I was suppose to learn, and other times I just have to deal with it. Well today was a complete melt down!
Today was my Bro in Law’s Surprise Birthday Dinner! My family and I planned to attend and I couldn’t wait to see his face when he walked through the restaurant door. I also couldn’t wait to check out the Soul Food the small, but popular restaurant was serving up. I did some errands earlier to ensure I wouldn’t be late for our reservations and rushed home to get myself and my boys prepared for dinner. See my husband had to work today just like most days of the week. His job is pretty demanding and he works late hours so we’ve learned how to work around his work days. We take Uber’s if the drive will be too much, I bring my bestie, mom, sister or Bro in Law to help with Chance and of course Dereon helps a TON! So today wouldn’t be any different because most of the people I have help me with the kids would be at the dinner.
We jumped into the Uber and headed to the West Loop location making it 10 minutes before the birthday boy. The traditional hugging and greeting our party while taking our coats off had started and I felt really good because we beat the Birthday boy and I didn’t have to worry about finding a park #Win! And then it happened… Chance was so excited to see everyone he started jumping, laughing, and running through this small yet cozy eatery! He was being an active toddler. I put my stern “Mom” voice on and handed him my phone and clicked on YouTube so he could sit and watch his favorite…other kids playing with their toys on camera. That worked for a little and then he got antsy, I totally get it he’s 2 and a half so it’s alot to get him to just stay still. And just like that he was back to running, talking loudly and then Chance jumped on the lush white couch and pushed the pillows down to another group of waiting customers. It was an accident he didn’t know the pillows could move, but I was so embarrassed if I could turn red I would have. I sat him down and redirected him to my phone and that’s when it happened.
Chance started to cry. You know that crying until they start coughing and then throw up type of cry. Yes, that type of cough that caused him to throw up all over his clothes, the luxe white couch, and the other kids coats. I rushed over to help him with the apple juice and cranberry mix that was coming out of his mouth to no avail. The restaurant stood still and I heard the whispers and saw the faces of the other diners and I completely freaked out. I asked for napkins and began cleaning the couch and my best friend and Mom rushed over to see the damage done. Afterwards they rushed to take Chance to the bathroom to clean him up.
I was done. That was the last straw. See I’ve been going, going, and going without any issues until now and I couldn’t think about sitting back down and enjoying dinner. My youngest son just puked his brains out in a small yet beautiful establishment and my family looked so helpful, but hungry at the same time. I couldn’t put the stress on them to help me with Chance and enjoy this wonderful surprise dinner. You see I realized at that moment Chance was tired, hungry, and over stimulated there was nothing I could do there that would get us back on track plus I was embarrassed. So I requested a Lyft and in one minute he was outside. My mom and sister kept telling me not to leave while my oldest son looked worried that his fun would have to end early too. Now see if this was Chuck E. Cheese or TGI Friday’s I would have cleaned him up and sat him right back at the table with no issues, but no this place was different and my nerves were fried. I had to go. I gave my oldest son some cash to cover his meal grabbed my bags and purse and Chance’s hand and rushed out of the clear door without looking back or saying goodbye. We escaped to the Uber and I got Chance safely locked in. We were home in 10 minutes and I got Chance all washed up, put his Pjs on and laid him down. I was pooped. Physically, mentally, and even spiritually I was exhausted.
I poured me a glass of wine and lit a candle. Wooosssaaahhh! I forced myself to think of my happy place as I sat on my comfy couch to get back on track. I was guilt ridden now because I felt like I over reacted and maybe I should of stayed at dinner. Then I felt silly for thinking my 2 year old would sit and be still at a restaurant that really wasn’t geared for kids. Then I felt tired for having to always think. Think and plan. That was my life now and I needed a break from always having to think. If that makes sense.
Chance didn’t fall asleep he ended up getting out the bed and joining the rest of the family as they arrived back from dinner. And then my husband came home and had a talk with Chance. I was able to laugh and hang with my sister and Bro in Law for a little before heading to bed, but I was beat.
Sometimes it’s okay to pull away and to say “enough”. Self care is important and sometimes it’s not a facial mask or a pedi, but it could be a polite decline to an event or a extra hour of sleep. I’ve always been one to tell my friends you can’t pour from an empty cup and sometimes you need to be refilled. Don’t feel bad for wanting time alone. I learned a valuable lesson at dinner. When feeling overwhelmed…pause. You can pull away or restart, but give yourself time to figure out the best option for you at that given time. It will be okay.
Stay strong mommas we are in this together!
Sincerely,
A Real Urban Mom 
Aww, I am sorry this happened to you. You have been pretty busy lately so don’t be too hard on yourself. Things happen and you need time to decompress. I definitely understand. There are some days where I just don’t want to make another decision about one more thing!
Thanks so much love! I was trying not to be hard on myself. Some times you just have to stop and let the wheels keep rolling. Thanks for stopping by and reading. ❤️
Awww man! You handled it well. I would have left also because sometimes we need a moment. Things happen and kids are unpredictable so I understand.
Yes I needed a moment and to distance myself from everything at that time. I’m feeling so much better now.
Hugs! We’ve all been there a time or two. Make sure to take time out for yourself. Breathe. You’ve got this!
Thanks! Yes the wine and candle really helped.
Thank you for sharing this real moment. We all go through it & I’m glad you took some time to breathe & step back & have a moment. Love you & so proud of you!!!
Thanks sis! Girl I was so OVER IT! But I had to realize that Chance is only 2 he’s not doing this on purpose. It makes it so much easier to cope that way
This was a tough situation that you handled well. I have an almost two year old and I’ve been working with him to sit still at the dinner table so when the time for a restaurant visit does come he knows how to behave. But I know that with toddlers, theres just no telling what they will do no matter how much you prepare. I think you handled the situation well. I haven’t had my meltdown yet, but it’s good to know I won’t be alone when it does happen.
Practice makes perfect normally at restaurants he’s in a kids high chair so his living is limited but since this wasn’t the type of place with high chairs he just had to sit down like the rest of us. I’m going to start ha omg him sit in regular chairs at home when he’s eating lunch and try to redirect him when he gets off course to have a sit and eat. Nothing beats a failure but a try! But like you said with kids there is no telling what they will do. LOL
Yesssss! I love this! As moms we sometimes take on so much responsibility over and over without taking a breather or without self care, when quiet time is absolutely necessary for ourselves and our little ones.
Our bodies and minds will tell us when to stop for real. I had to reset and reboot, but I’m back! Lol. Thanks for reading!
This is so dope and transparent. It’s never that you fall down, it’s that you get back up. And that can be applied to any context in our life. #Resilience#MommyStrong
It’s that you get back up! That’s so true. It’s never a defeat if you get up prepared for round 2. Thanks so much for reading! ❤️
My self-care right now as a single working mom is between 12-2 in the morning. I appreciate the time to meditate and organize my thoughts about my blog and where I see my little family on the weekends or the weekdays. it is my time to care for self. My daughter is 1 so I’m learning the stress and am relying on things like knowing what to say yes to and what to say no to . I was at an event and my daughter threw up all over me and herself. i had to leave like you did. We live and we learn and we forgive ourselves.
I’m glad you have your self care routine. It’s important. I get a decent amount of kid free time, but sometimes I have to know when to draw back. Thanks for stopping and reading! Well wishes to you ❤️
My goodness…was this EVER well written! I’m not a Mom but I felt every word. I tip my hat to you and every other Mom (and Dad) out there. I also love how you explained “self-care”. Sometimes all that mani-pedi stuff is just as exhausting. Sometimes you just need a glass of wine, a candle and a bit of silence.
Frime Chicagoan to Chicagoan, keep your head up Mama. And for goodness sakes, keep churning out this very real content.
Thanks so much Ola! Being a parent is one of the most enjoyable things I’ve ever done and also one of the most stressful so sometimes I just have to take a chill pill. LOL. Thanks so much for your kind words.
WOW. This was one of the most genuine posts I’ve read in a while. We need more real posts like this that don’t sugar code the realness of life and how tough it can get at times.
You’re one of the strongest women I know and you deserve everything good God has planned for your life. Only he knows what you go through in your heart. Not me. Not a friend. Not family. Only him and that’s the most important one who watches over you 24/7 even when you don’t feel his presence.
Yes! So true! God is always there. I’m forever grateful for His presence. Thanks for stopping by and reading I appreciate it.
Thank you for this moment of transparency. I had a meltdown today.
I know the feeling, but tomorrow will be better!
See how Good can use you to inspire others. This inspires me to inspire others somehow.